What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
This year I did battle with myself. Like major battle. Like cut throat, take no prisoners battle.
Seems like the perfect situation right? Cause either way I win, but no. Turns out you can kick your own ass harder than you can anyone else on this planet.
I was out for perfection, I wanted to have the perfect year since 2009 had been kinda a crappy one, the perfect job since I had lost my job in 2009, the perfect apartment since I had been living at home, the perfect everything, but by June I was exhausted. I needed a break from myself and more than that I needed to cut myself some slack.
I attended the TEDxHouston event in early June and the first presenter of the morning was a wonderful speaker by the name of Dr. Brene Brown. She had 18 minutes to speak. She began and I was captivated by her message.
Dr. Brown’s talk kicked me in the gut so hard I would have fallen over had I not been sitting. She spoke about the reality of vulnerability in our lives and how it was necessary for us to be vulnerable to truly live, as she calls it, whole-heartedly.
As if that wasn’t enough of a kick upside the head she then said, there is no such thing as perfection. “What?!?! Yes HUH! I have been a perfectionist all my life”
I had to talk to this lady. I got up the courage to ask Dr. Brown to attend the first ever TEDxHouston Book Club, where we chose to read one of her first books, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. In her visit with the book club she told us about her next book which was being published within the next month, the title, The Gifts of Imperfection. “Was this lady out to break me?!?”
A month after our book club meeting I attended Dr. Brown’s book launch party and that’s when I finally “gave up”. I couldn’t do the perfect thing anymore….
I mean the fact of the matter was I couldn’t even describe what a perfectionist was, so how the hell was I going to be one, and to another point, I was just freaking tired.
I still have really bad days where the perfectionist in me comes out, but I am aware that she is there and that she is wrong. I don’t have to make it to every event, I don’t have to sacrifice my own health for others, and more importantly I am allowed to say No, nicely of course.
So to answer this question, in 2010 I gave up perfectionism, cause frankly I am too busy being unforgettable to be perfect.
Thanks Dr. Brown for kicking my butt. I needed it.

Hugs!
Jessica