Hey there blog readers. This is @myroomiemeg (i.e. Jess’ roommate, Meg). Tonight I came home and Jess asked me how my current relationship is going. I told her it should be ending soon as I am initiating my phase out plan. She was worried that my European manfriend (he’s way older than me, so I must call him manfriend) may not understand the phase out situation. I quickly informed her that it is a global phenomenon – and after this, she decided I needed to blog as all of her blog friends may also be interested in my unique conundrum.
To make a long story short, the manfriend is getting too serious too fast and it’s fa-reaking me out. So he needs to go bye bye. To make things more complicated – he works at the same place I do. If you have never dated anyone from your work, continue doing just that. It is no bueno. I have done it before and it was awful. (I guess I figured I’d give it one more try – ha.) The problem is, I have only broken up with people in extreme situations – like, screaming at them, crying, never answering a phone call from them – you know, like the totally mature ways. I have decided to gently phase this manfriend out of my life.
Other ways to possibly break up...
Jess thinks he may not get the memo because he is different than your average American guy, who essentially invented the phase out technique. He likes the opera. He’s a complete wine and restaurant snob. He dresses better than most women. If you date him, he will call you princess. On your second date, he will plan a date that will be in two months. (Sidenote: if any of this sounds intriguing to you, leave your name with me and I could set you up with him!) To initiate the process, I am calling him less and answering his texts infrequently. I am going to become aloof. The trick is: make yourself less available. Give him a chance to realize: you are just not that into him. When doing all of this, you can’t let yourself feel guilty. In reality, you are doing this a guy favor! You really aren’t into him and you’re trying to end this thing civilly. Finally, you will just be straight with him: it’s not really working out and you think he wants something more than you do.
Sure sounds global to me. Heck, my cat would understand that. Now is your chance: what break-up technique do YOU think is best? Clearly I need advice, people. Maybe that’s the real reason Jess wanted me to blog this…..she thinks I need help…. (it’s true, she just said I have A.D.D. *sniff*)
Bird of the Summer by A Fine Frenzy
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I HEAR you. The guy I am kinda dating didn’t talk to me for several days and I didn’t call/text him because I believed we were on the “phase out”. This was going to be the only way we could amicably break-up because we have TONS of mutual friends.
Besides this is the best and easiest way for ALL involved : ) The others lead to drama, someone gets hurt, someone get ticked off and someone has to be the bad guy.
You are doing it right!!
lolz! so so true….he will totally get it!
Ooohhh … the phase-out is risky with guys. They love the thrill of the chase. By calling less and becoming harder to get, you may actually become MORE attractive to him because you’re more elusive. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but a lot of men will pursue a woman more intensely when he senses she’s pulling away. Your best bet for a quick, uncomplicated end is the thing you probably want least to do: Tell him directly, and in no uncertain terms, that you’re not interested in him, there is no chance for the two of you and he should move on immediately. I know it seems harsh, but it’s the best for you both in the long run. Good luck
it’s worked for me! good luck!