For almost 11 years now, I have partaken in the American holiday of Halloween. Yes, I say American because A. I am not American and feel the need to point that out whenever possible and B. because the US is the only one that celebrates Halloween.
This year, though, I am breaking my 11 year run and will not be participating in Halloween, or what my sister fondly calls “dress like a hooker” day. I am not sure why I decided this year was the year that I wasn’t going to dress up. Maybe I am getting old. Maybe I don’t want to deal with a hangover and a face full of acne from all the costume makeup worn the night before. Either way, I will not be joining the masses this year on Washington Ave. and I am pretty excited about it.
Excited? you ask. YES!! First and foremost I do not have to find a costume, which is a yearly nightmare. The Halloween shops that pop up all around town would help you think, but instead you go in and wait in line to try on a costume that you already know will be too short, too tight and incredibly itchy. Don’t misunderstand me, I fully support a woman’s right to be and feel sexy, but I also believe you do not have to be in a skin tight body suit or a mini tutu that shows your hind quarters to do so.
Second, I don’t have to deal with a drunk gorilla. Yes you read that right. I dunno what it is, but each year I manage to attract the guy that is dressed in the most ridiculous costume like a hot dog, or a banana or a gorilla. The gorilla ends up clinging to me for the rest of the night and his horrible friends end up leaving him at the bar because he won’t leave my side…and that’s how you end up playing designated driver with a gorilla in your back seat.
So for all the amazing people out there that will be going out this Saturday, be safe, have a great time, and avoid anyone dressed like a primate.
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The spider is sooo cute.