I can’t believe it’s the middle of January already.  I have been meaning to write this post since the begining of the year, but I could never find the right time to sit down, clear my head and just let my finger do the writing.  I always would get caught up in my head about how I should lay it out so that it flows nicely, or what kind of funny quip I could put in to make you laugh, and thus encourage you to keep reading, but alas I have decided to let that go and just write.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want this year for myself.  I started to make a list, but nothing seemed to stick.  I really have never been one to make New Years resolutions, but with 5 of my best friends getting married this year, I was starting to feel that I needed to set some goals for myself or I would just be seen and feel like I was standing still while the rest of the world around me progressed on to the next part of their lives.  It seriously freaked me out.

Then I recieved an e-mail about two days before New Years Eve from a co-worker challenging us to a weight loss battle….a Biggest Loser competion, if you will, and I saw it as a sign.  This was going to be my first change for 2012.

I had struggled through 2011 trying to get back in shape, after a very rough year in 2010.  I was really angry with myself though, which was something I had to get over before success was ever going to be possible.  Why was I mad at myself?  Mostly because I use to be an athlete and my body was nowhere near capable of the things it use to be able to do on a daily basis.  I was in martial arts growing up and I was in the best shape of my life, then I ran/danced/played tennis in college and really enjoyed it.  After that I discovered my love for Yoga, but I fell flat in 2010 due to multiple life events and 2011 really wasn’t much better.

 I decided change number 1 for 2012 is: Treat my body right, make time for myself to be healthy, and find the fire that use to ignite the athlete within

I am happy to report after our first weigh-in of the LNC Biggest Loser competition (weigh-ins are every 2 weeks) I have lost 6.4 pounds and I feel great.  More about this to come as I continue my weight-loss, get healthy challenge.

So what’s next?  My social life.  I have wonderful friends both in and outside of work, but keeping up with all of them has been really hard, and many of them are at stages in their lives where they are planning weddings or having children, a place I am not quite at.  When I do reach out to these friends I’ve found it really hard to relate to what is currently happening in their lives.  I know nothing about breast feeding or the ettiqute for sending out wedding invites.  I feel useless as a friend in these situation and often give up on keeping up with those friends because of my feelings of inadequacy.  Not to mention I feel like I am loosing my friends to their new “other half” or new baby.

As a result, I have made a decision that I need to “branch out”.  I am on a mission to find others that are in my same stage of life, with similar priorities and interests.   All the while, though, making the promise to be better at keeping up with my old friends and not to assume that because they are neck high in wedding magazines they don’t want to take a break to have coffee or dinner and gossip about the latest episode of Downton Abbey.

Change number 2 for 2012 is: Branch out, meet new friends, but keep up with the old ones and support them as they go through their major life changes.

It was quite by chance that after I made the decision about number 2, an old friend from Austin contacted me to invite me to the bachelorette party of my old roomate from when I lived in Austin.  I had not seen her since the day I moved out back in 2008. I had kept up with her through facebook and maybe spoken to her twice on the phone since that summer I moved back to Houston.  I felt horrible when I thought about how much time had gone by.   I missed her, but I didn’t even realize how much until I made the four hour drive this weekend to Fredericksburg to celebrate her last hoorah of singledom.  Sitting at dinner and sharing memories of each other and the apartment we shared together will be a memory I treasure forever.  I am so glad I went.

Which brings me to number 3.  When I was contacted to attend my friends bachelorette party it was a week before the actual party.  Usually an immediate “no” would have been my answer because this was not enough time fore me to plan.  This is the downfall of being a project manager I have discovered.  Spontanaeity kinda goes out the window when you are so use to planning each step.  I ignored my inner anxiety though and went for it, and as I said, it was totally worth it.  Not only to spend time with my old roommate but 8 other beautiful unique women in the adorable setting of Fredericksburg, Texas.

So change number 3 is: Let go of control and be spontaneous

The next one on my list is  something I have on my mind constantly.  Its like a bug that itches at me all the time.  I want to travel,  get out of town, experience new things, eat crazy food, and get lost in the sites and sounds of somewhere different.

Change number 4 is: Travel, get out of my comfort zone, even if only for the weekend

Change number 5 is: Choose Happiness in 2012.

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